Lesson 77: Friendship
About the Searcher:
I spent the last week in Florida on a beach trip with family and friends. One night, we walked to Captain Curt’s to sing karaoke, but I was nervous because I do not have confidence in my singing. However, as people took the stage to sing their song, they not only had fun but the crowd also cheered for each performance. So I walked up to the microphone and sang Luther Vandross’ “Never Too Much”. Nothing terrible happened to me despite my doubt around my singing ability - in fact, my friends and family cheered and I had fun performing. Friendship not only helped me build confidence but also turned the daunting experience into a fun and memorable one.
About ETA:
Intimidating moments happen on-stage and off-stage; the pursuit of Entrepreneurship Through Acquisition can feel just as vulnerable. It requires capabilities beyond what I can do alone. That is where friendship can help: Dr. Marisa G. Franco, PhD wrote Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make - and Keep - Friends. She says, “A meta-analysis found that having high-quality friendship is correlated with greater empathy.” When searching for and acquiring a business, you need people who can empathize with the experience. Your team serves as a lighthouse when the process begins to feel like a storm.
I spoke with an investor this week about his experience with search. He had acquired and operated a business after business school, and now he invests with people, like me, who want to do the same. He explained, “I appreciated that my investors looked at deals from a searcher’s point of view.” Like Dr. Franco’s point about friendship, the quality of his investors was connected to their empathy for his experience. Investors should provide more than capital - they should provide the support and push we need to remember we are capable of more than we think. This professional friendship is not about calming the storm, but about helping provide a clear path. Their shared belief in success lights a way toward the common goal.
About the Bigger Picture:
Understanding the value of friendship transforms the different relationships a searcher must develop. There are five people with whom a searcher must develop trusting relationships:
5 Trusting Relationships to Acquire: These relationships require a friendship-mindset
My mindset for each relationship is this: You are trustworthy, I am trustworthy, and we all want to close this deal. When issues arise, this friendship-mindset allows us to remain open to reconciliation rather than exhausting ourselves (and budgets) guarding our own interests.
My mission is to increase representation for Black leaders at the executive, investor, and board level. Executives, investors, and board members are people too. We are social beings, who desire friendship. The process of closing a deal demands late nights and early mornings. Issues will come up. If we want to overcome issues, we need to ask questions from a place of curiosity rather than accusation. Maintaining a friendship-mindset is essential for overcoming these daunting experiences together, whether singing in public or acquiring a business.
This is Lesson 77: Friendship. Next week is Lesson 78: Persistence.
